If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Randomize
