I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
After last night, I could never be a politician.
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
