Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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