Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
Randomize
