wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
Is it because I queefed?
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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