She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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