sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
Well I just put wine in my tea
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
Randomize
