I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
where are you?
Hypothermia
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
Randomize
