Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Randomize
