I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
It's like God shit irony all over that family
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
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