I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Randomize