i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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