Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
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