lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
Randomize
