I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
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