she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
