Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize