drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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