So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
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