Are we in a gay sports bar?
I want to make a zoo with you.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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