How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Randomize
