She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
Randomize
