is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
