I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
Come see our sink grown plant.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
Randomize
