We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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