I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
Randomize
