why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
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