Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
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