We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
