me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
