I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
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