I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
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