i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Randomize
