It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
Randomize