I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
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