Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
