"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
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