It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
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