pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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