talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
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