Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Thank you for not boning my boss.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
Randomize
