i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize