i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
I need a beard to bite.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
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