uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
