People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
The beers last night were like the tears from god
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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