guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
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