Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
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