i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Randomize
