While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
birth control should be required to get into college
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
