i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize