The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
