Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
I see more hoeing in ur future
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