I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
What drink are we having for lunch?
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Randomize
