if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize
