I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Randomize
