My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
