Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
Randomize
