You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
i just made my gag reflex go away.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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