i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
I just googled if crying burns calories
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
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