Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
I'm getting married
To pizza
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
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